I'm sitting here, attempting to be diligent in properly planning appropriate Christmas presents for our family, and as I "attempt" to do so, all I can do is fight so hard to hold the tears back. I can't blame Pandora, although the music is perfect in every way. I feel as though I must document what my soul is feeling because it is raw and genuine.
As I sit here in front of this screen, sorting file after file for the perfect picture to tell our little Lola's story, I am overcome with emotion. What a wonderful year it has been! I feel as though I have become consumed with motherhood, with familyhood, with making it the most perfect embodiment of what I think a family should be. I feel like I have, somewhat, underestimated the wonderfulness that is our family. Not just our little pod of love, but our families. The two families that have come together to create this beautiful co-existence of love. As I flip through, somewhere between folder 24 and 4 all I see is love. I am overwhelmed with emotion. This is what family looks like!
I came to the realization that family cannot be measured by number of people, lack of roles, or quantity of dads, moms, or grandparents. Families can only be measured by the amounts of love you feel. I think it is easy to forget about the love that we have for one another when life's messy turns come into play. I know, first hand, that my family is not, at all, the classic, tradition prototype of what a family should look like. And I'm okay with that. I can honestly say I feel more love now, in this moment, than I ever have before. Our family is setting up a foundation of confidence, acceptance, and support for Lola. And that's all I can ask for!