Thursday, October 27, 2011

This is the best part of working full time- coming home to this.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Note to Self

The past few months have taught me a lot about compassion and my ability to love. At twenty-six, I'm finding that I'm still discovering who I am and what I have to offer. I'm seeing, also, that behind this new found sense of self is a man who supports my sometimes spontaneous heart-driven decisions.

I'm only twenty-six. Still growing and being shaped by the love my family shines on me. Still discovering who I am intended to be. Today, I love this self.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I've been trying to see my daughter, not as a little one who's acquired a master's degree in the terrible twos but instead, as an individual. Yesterday as I turned the soil and bits of veggies, fruits, and plant matter that make up our compost pile, this little one showed a huge interest in what I was doing. I gloved her up and gave her the task of pulling out the small roots from weeds and those belonging to a very territorial hydrangea plant. She dove right in, excitedly skimming though handfuls of moist soil.
A moment arose when I encountered a large root from that territorial plant, it selfishly extending this part of its body deep through the heart of my compost pile. I grabbed it with both hands and began to pull, and pull, and pull. Being the kind and helpful little girl that she's become, she came up behind me, placed her two little hands on my waist and pulled with all her strength.

I imagined what this might look like, this little one's tiny hands clamped around her mama. I thought about the expression on her face, the exhaustion and determined look painted across her face as she tiredly exercised all her energy into each significant pull.

 We were able to pull that stubborn root up.

The other night was discouraging. I typed terrible twos into the search engine desperate to find some answers. Some remedy or some little bit of knowledge that would bring some clarity and revive my spirit from its uneasiness. I found an article that mentioned that these (very annoying) outbursts of emotions are normal. That they happen because the child has discovered his/her confidence.

Though I am not entirely amused by the tantrums, the famous limp-noodle body that's become so routine, it makes me so happy to think that my little one is becoming a confident little girl!

Friday, October 14, 2011


It's late and I'm tired. My spirit feels heavy and weary, the lingering thought that tomorrow could very well resemble today. This phase is getting the best of me, leaving me at times with a sense of defeat. I'm exhausted and I'm overwhelmed. But as I sit here typing away, my eyes heavily burdened by love-filled tears, I am hopeful. Hopeful that tomorrow will be a new day, bringing new opportunities, new strides, and some progress. Bare with me, sweet girl. I love you.