I've unintentionally set writing aside. Sadly placed in a column neighboring all the other things I've lost time for. My mornings at work are spent day dreaming of the lovely worded posts I'd write had I the time or the inspiration or the energy. Posts that were spent explaining and exclaiming words of my family's beauty or how adorably comedic our little Lola has become. Sentences saturated with the joys of parenting, the rewards of mothering, the evolution of a seven year love.
As I race the clock, setting tables, chairs, carnation-filled vases in anticipation of the morning rush, my mind resides in the little place where my loves lay fast asleep. I miss my mornings at home. Waking up to our sweet girl, her ambitious bedhead, and her warm desire to be snuggled first thing in the morning. I'm craving our long mornings, our afternoon naps, and our time spent outdoors. I miss our hours at the park, our spontaneous walks up and down Midtown's streets, and the coziness of our little apartment. And though most days I make it home with just enough energy to shower my little girl with, I am thankful for an opportunity to provide for my family.
I am thankful for Pieter. For the patience he has with our daughter, the unconditional love he has for us both. I am thankful for his encouragement, the way he offers to do more around the house. How understanding he is when my only need is to go to bed. I appreciate him more for the time he spends nurturing our daughter's young mind, working with her on her manners, teaching her to be kind, showing her how to love.
And though most days are the busy kinds, non-stop from sunrise to sunset, this day is out of the norm. I will sit and be, enjoying my little family, my loves. I will spend my day embracing my girl, making mental notes of her sweetness, taking pictures of her joy, and savoring the hours I have to spend with her. I will spend this day with my husband to be, deep in conversation, expressing the desires of our future together. I will make time for myself, and maybe for this little blog, as I search for my voice and the ease and effortlessness that came before our busy schedule took over.
Today will be good.